I was talking to a friend yesterday and discussing the success and failure of marriages.
Even a long courtship doesn't always guarantee a successful marriage. Why? Isn't few years of knowing each other enough to know a person well?
I think our minds are not wired correctly to understand this bond. Knowing each other will not give you the stamp of approval that the marriage will work.
What works and should be considered before taking the plunge are these 3 important factors:
1. The Values
Very important to know, is to understand the person's values that s/he has imbibed over the growing years. These can include values (or beliefs) related with family, friends, career, outlook towards life, companionship, money etc. Values form the basis of one's life and its outcomes. Extremely crucial to understand it well about the other person's way of thinking and his/her outlook towards life.
2. Inner Self
We all look at the physical well-being of a person, while choosing a life partner. His/her physical attributes in terms of beauty, looks, grooming etiquettes, hygiene and everything that we can see from the outside. What we miss out is what's inside the other person. The inside will let you know a lot about the other person. What makes him/her happy, sad, angry, fearful. The person's struggles, strengths, weaknesses. And in all of that you can fall in love with the actual person, taking it all in your stride.
3. Transparency
When you are aware of the above (Values, Inner self), you need to be transparent with your own self to accept whether you are in sync with the other person. Do not hide or brush it off if there are signs of doubts in your mind. The transparency has to be with the other person too, in reaching out and sharing your doubts. If something can be worked upon, and mutually agreeable, even with a set of differences, it can still culminate into a good relationship.
With these 3 important factors in consideration, lot of issues that we see everyday between couples will certainly minimise. There will be much harmony, and love and most importantly...longevity in relationships or marriages.
And every marriage solemnised will be 'happily ever after'!
Cheers :)
